Against The Zombie Vegetables
by Alianora in the Rain
Summary: FFIV Megiann was a self absorbed girl living in a town in Baron. She met some people from foreign planets. Now they have embarked on a quest to rid the world of the rapidly increasing Zombie Vegetables, and maybe save their own worlds as well.


A/N: This was intended as a parody, but might be a little more interesting once it gets going. I know Megiann isn't acting so bratty now, but just wait until any local royalty goes away.

I don't own Cecil or Baron or anything actually in FFIV, however I do own Megiann, Caya, Kiya, Kimi, Daron, and Cirran. And Thery, and the as yet nameless planet Caya and Kiya are from. World Portals System is sort of mine, sort of only because other people have used similar ideas.

Expect more plot and info-drops in later chapters. Let me know if you think this is interesting at all, if I made any horrible mistakes, and pretty much anything else.

The first couple paragraphs are entirely from Megiann's point of view, so expect them to be a bit... biased coughselfabsorbedough.

I changed a little bit here and there, but it's still the same story. Anyone want to beta for me?

Now, the story...

Megiann of the Blue Planet

and her quest against the Zombie Vegetables.

Once upon a time, during the rule of King Cecil of Baron, there lived a Baronian girl. Her name was Megiann and she was beautiful.

Megiann had grown up a peasant, but held herself in high regard for her beauty and skills.

She could weave the most beautiful fabric in the shortest time, fabric that would shimmer, and when she tried to cut it with her shears, wouldn't cut.

She had a beautiful voice.

She was a fast runner.

She was a dancer in all sorts of styles.

She was an archer.

Now, if only everyone else held her in such high regard...

--

Megiann woke and rose from her pallet, brushing pieces of straw off of her nightgown. She retrieved a comb from her small closet, and combed out the tangles and straw. Straw pallets were a nightmare, they should be made illegal.

She headed down to breakfast dressed in one of her later shimmer-dresses, the ones woven exactly so that they looked as a normal non-draped dress. Her hair, thick and silken fell down her back in an azure and gold waterfall, for she had been born with streaks of blue in her hair. Her parents thought it a throwback to an ancestor who was a mage, so she didn't question it, just loved it. Her eyes, blue as sapphires, sparkled with a cool, aloof light. She sat down to porridge, thinking that it would someday be made illegal. Of course.

Her brother thought her vanity was ridiculous, that she would never come above a peasant. Her mother thought much the same, but allowed her younger child to indulge in sky-high dreams. Her father kept out of it.

So this day started like the one before it, and before that, and plenty before. Megiann went outside to tend the garden, which was doing fine and really needed no tending, but it was an escape from actual work.

She heard the footsteps of a chocobo, saw it come into view. It was a man wearing the armor of a Baronian soldier. Not all that unusual. But behind him, another chocobo approached. Megiann thought she was dreaming for a minute. King Cecil of Baron!

She dropped the trowel she held, which was a mistake as it landed on her foot point down. she hopped up and down, forgetting who was there, until a voice called out to her.

"Are you all right?"

Megiann's eyes opened wide. She dropped her throbbing foot, stared at the speaker. It was King Cecil. Oh, how embarassing!

She did the best curtsy she could with her foot, bowed as well. "I'm sorry for distracting you, your Majesty. I shall be fine momentarily, 'twas only a gardening tool. I do not normally drop things upon myself, it was just, your Majesty's appearance surprised me."

"Well, I am glad you are all right. How is your town? It's been a while since I've come through here." the King replied.

"The town is fine, Milord, aside from the ocasional zombie vegetable. Martha and Tomas had a whole row of them last week!"

"Zombie vegetables? That does **not** sound good. What are they?" The King asked.

"Well, we're not actually sure. They've been appearing here and there for the last year or so. They look like normal vegetables until they start moving. Once one ate a whole rabbit! I call them zombies since the best way to rid youself of them is to cast Fire... or Cure. I had to learn those spells just for the vegetables!" She tried to look annoyed but couldn't, as she had been very excited to learn magic.

"Hmm. I shall get this matter looked into. Thank you for informing me. I don't suppose you know that few people can cast both White and Black magic? Have you tried anything else?"

"The mages won't let me at the books. Seem to think I only want them to conjure myself a mirror in the air." She turned her face skywards, the closest to rolling her eyes she was willing to do.

"Ah. Perhaps I can convince them, what is your name?"

Megiann blushed. "Oh, no, Your Majesty, you don't have to! ...My name is Megiann."

"I might as well help. I am a king, but I am also a Paladin, and while you aren't technically in need, a good deed can't hurt. Where are these books?"

The soldier, impatient at the King's talking, shifted on the chocobo, who squawked and ran off with him. Cecil watched amusedly. "That chocobo is crazy. This is the seventeenth time this trip that's happened. He'll be fine, don't worry," he assured her.

"Ahaha..." Megiann laughed a bit. "The library is in the middle of town, next to the Weapons and Armor shop. I'll show you, but there's really no place to tether a chocobo there. A zombie tomato sprayed acid all over the last post and we haven't gotten a new one yet. Nuisances..." She walked off, and the King followed on the chocobo.

They soon reached the library, and the mage librarians, upon seeing the king, allowed Megiann access to the books she wanted. She checked them with one of the mages, a tracking spell, and put them in her gardening bag. (incidentally made out of shimmercloth, which never stained)

They left the library, and the King started off down the road after his chocobo, who was running into someone's crops. Suddenly, a turnip rose high in the air and threw itself at the poor chocobo. It squawked and pecked at it. Cecil called it over to him, and Megiann demonstrated a Cure spell. The vegetable fell to the ground, dead? and the plants around it grew up a bit taller.

"Well, so you can cast Cure. Was that a zombie vegetable?" Cecil asked while stroking the chocobo's ruffled feathers.

"Yes and yes. They don't do much harm other than eat the occasional creature. The one as ate that rabbit grew to the size of a rabbit and tried to take down Ferdy's chocobo. A mage Cure'd it, though, before anything happened." Megiann personally thought that the vegetables would grow bigger each time they ate something until they could eat a person and possibly grow to eat a dragon if left unchecked. She didn't want to burden the king with those thoughts, as that's all they were.

"So if they eat, they grow. Hmm... You seem to have this problem under control, but do enough people know magic here?"

"Well, the spells were taught to everyone, but most people can only use one or the other. I prefer to use Cure as it doesn't damage and actually helps the vegetable's victim. Seems like more people can use Fire, though."

"Well, good luck with the vege..." A clattering sound down the road distracted Cecil's sentence.

"This is YOUR fault!" came a female voice.

"How is it my fault? It's as much yours as mine!" came another.

"I didn't run off on some crazy mission..."

"You followed me! What were you thinking?"

"That my little sister was going on another crazy mission... and that I had to find her and bring her back..."

"I didn't and don't want to be brought back! Caya, you're such a fun-crasher!"

"Well, excuse me for looking out for you, Miss Younger Princess With An Adventurer Complex! I've rescued you time and time again.."

"I was doing just fine! And now you broke it!"

"I broke it? What are you talking about? If you're blaming anyone for this, blame Tenir! He's the one you went after, isn't he?"

"YES! AND now we're stuck in some town I've never seen and isn't on my map! I used a Sight spell and this continent looks completely different! Not a landmark the same! All because you thought using the World Portal System with Teleport would be faster! Hello, same world? PLAIN TELEPORT SPELLS work fine? You broke the Portal System and who knows if anyone here has ever used it? We're STUCK HERE and we can't get home! It's your fault!"

"Kiya, it should have worked. Tenir must have messed with the portals around Thery!"

"Yeah, put the blame on the evil guy..."

"Well, look on the bright side! We have time to prepare without worry of an attack!"

"AND LOOK ON THE DARK SIDE! Tenir and his armies of whoever have no real opponents now! They could be taking over Darkia and everywhere as we speak!"

The first voice was quiet for a while. By this time Cecil and Megiann had come up to the arguers. A tall lavender-haired girl looking to be about sixteen was the first voice, and a similarly tall girl with violet hair, about fourteen, was the second. They were blocking the road, glaring at each other, and try as they might, Cecil and Megiann couldn't get their attention. Around the two were some other people, sitting on the ground rolling their eyes. A silvery-haired young woman wearing a blue tunic and navy leggings had her chin in her blue-gloved hand. She was humming a strange little tune.

A man with light blond hair down his back, dressed in a green tunic with black leggings, sat next to a pile of armor that was presumably his. A helmet had rolled off the top, apparently what had made the clattering noise they had heard earlier. It seemed the two girls had been arguing a while.

Another man, this one with shoulder-length darker blond hair in a layered style, wore a white tunic and pale blue leggings. He sat by a pile of armor as well, though this pile was twice the size, with two sets of armor in it. He was drumming his fingers on the ground.

"A-hem," Megiann coughed to no avail. The two girls kept arguing, about being sisters and evil people and portals and such that caused Cecil a bit of worry.

Suddenly a... dragon! A smallish dragon swooped out of the sky and picked the two girls up. They noticed.

"Kimi, make her put me down!" called the lavender-haired girl. The silver-haired woman, Kimi, just kept humming.

"Caya, if you hadn't been arguing with me we wouldn't be up in the air suspended by Crazy Kimi's dragon!"

"Hey, I'm not crazy!" Kimi shouted up as Caya responded "You started this argument, Kiya. Why must you argue about everything?"

"Because you're my annoying older sister," Kiya replied.

The dragon, a pretty silver one with pale blue stripes, flew a bit away and circled.

"Caya, maybe we should stop arguing if we want to get down..." Kiya called to her sister.

"Ya think?" was Caya's annoyed reply.

"Everybody, be quiet!" the dragon said. "If you didn't notice, there are people who want to pass, and they've been there a long time!" Her voice was about what you'd expect from a talking female dragon.

Everyone turned to look at the Paladin-King and the Peasant Girl. The woman, Kimi, got up and walked over to them.

"Who are you?" she asked, not terribly unexpectedly.

"King Cecil of Baron, and that is Megiann, a girl I was helping." Cecil replied.

"Hello, sir, hello, Megiann. My name is Kimi Fairbreeze, and my companions are Cirran," she pointed to the man with long hair, "Daron," the other blond, "And I think I'll let those two introduce themselves." She pointed to the purple-haired girls in the dragon's claws. "Silver, you can let them down now, gently."

The dragon plummeted a few yards, but the girls were apparently used to it. They came to a stop with their feet resting a foot above the ground. The dragon let go, but the girls didn't fall over, just landed on their feet. Caya came forward.

"Hello," she nodded to the two. "I suppose you were listening? I'm sorry you had to wait. My name is Princess Kaianne Celeste Mothwing of Myrian. She," she said, gesturing to Kiya, "is my younger sister, Princess Kiyanna Lunaire Mothwing of Myrian. We're not from here, and neither are they." She gestured at the other three this time.

Kiya took over. "My older sister managed to mess up, as I'm sure you heard. I went after Tenir the Terror when I heard he'd escaped, and she followed me! Tenir's not even on this world, he's back on Thery! We have to get back before he takes over!"

This was a bit much to take in. Other worlds, maybe, after all Cecil was half-Lunarian, but...

--

To be Continued!


End file.
